That’s the offer on the table. And thoroughly reasonable it is too. T needs space to kick back into himself after 25 years of not doing so and who am I to begrudge him that. “Little sub”, that’s who….. She would rather be spanked, caned, controlled, put in the corner, constantly erotically humiliated – anything but be ignored for 2 days. He understands, just can’t comply. He even professes to want 24/7 himself eventually. He enjoys the power exchange just as much as I do. It’s just he’s not ready for it. We have a short hand for his needing space. We call it “Captain Beefheart” time. Stemming from a conversation when he said he needed to be able to listen to Captain Beefheart for hours on end if he wanted sometimes. (cue: Madness, My Girl’s Mad at Me)
Well he has plenty of it now (if that’s sounds angry, it is, I can’t help it). Since I have started taking my sexuality out of his exclusive hold – something I loved and wanted for a long time, I find myself less desperate for him and more like a teenager going out on the town, new forum, new spanking people to talk and flirt with. And one dear online Sir who hasn’t disappeared altogether into realms vanilla.
And I must paint my walls, and work out my new phone, and write and cook and… and…. and check for emails from him too often. Too often Blackbird….